nos hemos mudao!! visitarnos!!!


[English Post ]Dear Dogs,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

Rules for non pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets.

1. The dog lives here. You don't.

2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my dog a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, he is a dog. To me, he's an adopted son who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

5. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the pups.

The same applies to cats, except they ignore you until you are asleep.

Best Regards.Joe


[English Post] Alonso cruises to victory in Malaysian Grand Prix

Posted 05:28pm (Mla time) Mar 20, 2005
Agence France-Presse

SEPANG, Malaysia--Spaniard Fernando Alonso claimed his second career win and moved to the top of the world championship table when he eased to victory in the Malaysian Grand Prix here Sunday.

Alonso led from pole position and overcame minor handling troubles in the closing stages to stay ahead of Italian Jarno Trulli, who took a satisfying second place to give Toyota their first ever Formula One podium finish.

Alonso had to crouch on the podium after an energy-sapping race spent without the use of a drinks bottle and he admitted: "It was very tough conditions and I finished on the limit today.

"We knew before the start of the race that it would be tough, but my drinks bottle didn't work and I had problems. But I was not pushing very hard during the race and the car was easy to drive.

"The last 15 of 20 laps were very long and the same for everyone here in Sepang, but maybe more when you are in position one. You are very close to winning the race but everything was fine
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and we showed we are the team to beat."

Trulli was delighted with his podium finish and said: "I had an extremely good start but the Renault seems to get away well. I drove my race, I was competitive, I started managing the race, taking care of the tires.

"It is fantastic to bring the first podium finish to Toyota. We were quite comfortable on reliability even though the conditions are difficult here and the team have done a good job over the winter."

But the battle was waged behind for third place as Australian Grand Prix winner Giancarlo Fisichella fought with Williams pair Mark Webber and Nick Heidfeld and Toyota's Ralf Schumacher for the final place on the podium.

The position eventually went to German Heidfeld, who secured his first podium for Williams, after Italian Fisichella and Australian Webber crashed into retirement and German Schumacher faded away in the closing stages.

Heidfeld said: "It was very hot. My drink bottle failed--it always happens where you don't want it to. I had to push quite hard because I was only 10th in qualifying. I had a good start and some good overtaking moves."

Colombian Juan Pablo Montoya played a calculated race and moved up from 11th on the grid to finish fourth for McLaren, just ahead Schumacher in fifth, with Scot David Coulthard sixth for Red Bull Racing.

German world champion Michael Schumacher scored his first points of the season in seventh as he stayed ahead of eighth-placed Austrian Chrisitan Klien, who ensured Red Bull Racing secured a second consecutive double points finish.

Alonso made a clean start to lead into the first corner and Trulli managed to stay ahead of Fisichella as the rest of the pack jostled for position at the start of what would be a gruelling race in temperatures of 34 degrees Celsius.

The race was all over for BAR-Honda on lap two when Anthony Davidson, substituting for Takuma Sato, stopped when his engine expired and Button also slowed to a stop with a tell-tale smoke trail coming out of his car.

Austrian Patrick Friesacher spun and got stuck in the gravel trap on lap two in his Minardi and he also stopped to leave the field with 17 cars remaining after a frantic couple of opening laps.

By the fourth lap of the race Alonso led Trulli by 1.5 seconds with Fisichella third, Webber holding his fourth place starting position and Ralf Schumacher staying in fifth in the second Toyota.

Finn Kimi Raikkonen was up to sixth in the lead McLaren with Heidfeld seventh and Coulthard, who passed team-mate Klien at the start, up into eighth in the leading Red Bull Racing car.

World champions Ferrari continued to struggle and Rubens Barrichello was their lead driver in a disappointing 11th place with Schumacher two places further back in 13th.

Christian Klien kicked off the first round of pit stops when he came in at the end of lap 18 then Coulthard, Ralf Schumacher and Raikkonen all stopped for fuel at the end of lap 20.

Alonso, who built up a lead of 7.7 seconds, pitted from the lead at the end of lap 21 and he came out right behind one of the Jordans. Trulli also pitted from second and the two came out in the same positions.

Raikkonen moved into the lead when Fisichella and Webber came into the pits at the end of lap 22 and the Finn was able to jump past Webber when he came out from his stop two laps later.

But McLaren's bad fortune this season continued when he picked up a puncture on his out lap and his tire split into pieces as he cruised around to the pits again to make a permitted tire change.

By the end of the first set of stops Alonso was back in the lead, 12 seconds ahead of Trulli, who was still managing to stay on pace with the leaders, and Fisichella a further 6.7 seconds back.

Ralf Schumacher was fifth with Heidfeld, in the second Williams, in sixth, Montoya seventh in his McLaren and Barrichello up to eighth after getting past the two Red Bull Racing cars through the stops.

Former world champion Jacques Villeneuve, who is under pressure after a disappointing display in the first race of the season two weeks ago, spun out of the race on lap 29.

Fisichella complained of oversteer problems and Webber and Ralf Schumacher, who ran nose to tail as they chased after the final place on the podium, quickly caught him.

Heidfeld joined a thrilling battle on lap 32 when Webber and Schumacher clashed at the end of lap 31. Schumacher locked up as he lunged to overtake Webber but made it past after Webber ran wide.

The lack of speed allowed Heidfeld to pass Webber into the first corner but after a thrilling half lap of dicing Webber made it back in front and both Williams cars moved ahead of Schumacher's Toyota.

Webber then passed Fisichella on lap 38 but the Renault driver tried to fight back in the final corner of the lap and the pair collided as Fisichella locked his brakes and slid into Webber.

Fisichella's car spun over the nose of Webber's Williams and the two drivers were out of the race, promoting Heidfeld into third, Ralf Schumacher back up to fourth and Michael Schumacher into the points in eighth.

Alonso pitted at the end of lap 40 to hand Trulli the lead but the Italian stopped two laps later and returned to second as third-placed Heidfeld stopped for his second fill-up.

Barrichello, who finished second in the season-opening race in Australia, pulled into his garage and retired from the race on lap 50 to end a disappointing weekend for him and his Ferrari team as the race drew to a close.

[English Post]Alonso victorious in Malaysia

Alonso victorious in Malaysia
By Richard Rae of The Sunday Times

Fernando Alonso led from start to finish to win an exciting Malaysian Grand Prix in Sepang this morning, Renault’s second consecutive victory of the season.

Jarno Trulli was second for Toyota and Nick Heidfeld third for Williams, after Alonso’s teammate Giancarlo Fisichella controversially collided with Mark Webber’s Williams ten laps before the end of the race. Juan Montoya finished fourth, ahead of Ralf Schumacher in the second Toyota. The Red Bulls of David Coulthard were sixth and eighth, sandwiching the Ferrari of Michael Schumacher, the world champion once again struggling to be competitive on his Bridgestone tyres.

"There was no pushing really hard during the race, the car was fine," said Alonso, who was more concerned about dehydration after problems with his water bottle in the latter stages of the race.

Second qualifying had seen no changes in the top three positions from Saturday’s first session, Alonso taking pole for the fourth time in his career, ahead of Trulli and Fisichella. Behind them Mark Webber moved up two places, and the Red Bull pairing of David Coulthard and Christian Klien also improved their grid positions, to start eighth and seventh, respectively. Once again the Ferraris struggled over one lap, Schumacher visibly fighting for grip from his rear tyres, and able to manage only 13th fastest over all. Anthony Davidson, standing in for Takuma Sato, held on to 15th spot behind BAR teammate Jenson Button in ninth.

Managing tyre wear was always going to be the key, the combination of sweltering heat and abrasive track surface promising to reward the drivers who conserved their rubber in the early stages of the race. There was also the possibility of engine attrition, with most cars using the same power plants for the second consecutive race weekend.

Forest fires around the track added to the uncertain atmosphere; the track temperature was more than 50 degrees centigrade.

The first four made a clean start, what action there was coming in midfield where Nick Heidfeld picked up two places. Button, quietly confident before the start, looked in good shape and effortlessly passed McLaren's Kimi Raikkonen on the start-finish straight at the end of the first lap, but soon afterwards his Honda engine began to smoke. As Button began to lose ground, his car spewing oil on to the track, Davidson’s engine burst into flame, and both BARs were forced to pull over before the start of the third lap. Given the team had controversially chosen not to finish the Australian Grand Prix in order to change the engines, it was a horrible moment for the two young Britons, especially for Davidson.

"A shame for the team, but that’s what the new engine regualtions are for, to make it tough. Not exactly what I wanted, but while I was out there it was fun," said Davidson, gritting his teeth in the pits.

"Compared to last year we’ve made a huge step back. I’m very angry, and it’s got to change but the problem is I don’t think it’s going to change soon. It’s frustrating because the pace is good," said a furious Button.

Up front Alonso was beginning to pull out a gap, aware Fisichella was going to find it hard to pass Trulli, the Toyota holding its pace as effectively as he had in Australia until the first pit stop. Webber was holding on to Fisichella, with Ralf Schumacher also going well in the second Toyota. By lap nine Alonso had eked out a six-second lead over the Toyota, Heidfeld was putting Kimi Raikkonen under pressure for sixth, Coulthard was holding eighth, and the Ferraris were nowhere in 11th and 13th, some 30 seconds off the lead by lap ten.

The Renault team were urging Fisichella to maintain his pace, as after 16 laps he was 11 seconds behind his teammate, but all weekend the Italian had seemed nervous about the durability of his engine. Alonso was complaining about a lack of traction from his rear tyres, but it didn’t seem to be affecting his pace as the Spaniard set a series of fastest laps.

Klien was the first in the top ten to pit, on lap 19, and up ahead Trulli began to nibble at Alonso’s lead. Ralf Schumacher, Heidfeld and Coulthard came in for fuel on the following lap, and Alonso came in on lap 21. His tyres looked in good condition. With Fisichella and Webber coming in next, it left Raikonnen in the lead and Juan Montoya in fifth, the McLarens had clearly chosen to start heavy on fuel. The Finn immediately put in the fastest lap of the race by a distance before coming in on lap 24. His strategy saw him jump Webber, but on his outlap his rear right tyre punctured, forcing him to drive an almost entire lap on what amounted to his wheel rim. By the time he rejoined he was in 13th, and his aim was simply to snatch a point.

The net result of the first round of stops left the top five as before, Alonso now 12 seconds clear of Trulli, with Barrichello having moved up to sixth. Down the field Jacques Villeneuve spun and left his Sauber in the gravel; "I’m having a hard time with this car," said the former world champion.

The Red Bulls of Coulthard and Klien were in ninth and tenth, hunting down points positions for the second consecutive race. Ahead, the battle for third was hotting up because Fisichella’s lap times were not impressive; he was reporting massive oversteer in the high speed corners 12, 13 and 14. His problems were an opportunity for Webber and Ralf Schumacher, who came together when the Toyota locked up looking down the inside and drifted into the Australian. With Heidfeld joining the dog fight, there was a superb three car battle for half a lap which resulted in the two Williams cars coming out on top, but crucially also gave Fisichella breathing space.

Behind them Coulthard passed Barrichello on the outside of turn four, and Klien got him at the end of the lap. The Williams cars were back on the tail of Fisichella, and Webber slipped past, was retaken, lined him up again on the outside of the final turn of lap 37, but Fisichella locked his brakes, slid into the Australian and the two cars went off, the Renault bouncing over the Williams. Webber was furious, gesticulating as he got out of the car, and the stewards immediately announced the incident would be investigated after the race. "Not my fault," insisted the Renault driver, but it looked as though he was at least partially to blame.

"I passed him fair and square in 14, and he was on the dirty side when he slid into me. The podium was there for the taking," said the disappointed Australian.

With 16 laps remaining Alonso pitted for the final time with the race totally under control. Trulli, in second, lapped Michael Schumacher, and Heidfeld found himself promoted to third. Ralf Schumacher looked solid in fourth, and Montoya was in fifth, with Coulthard in sixth. McLaren used Montoya’s second stop to jump the Colombian into fourth, ahead of his old teammate in the Toyota.

Behind them, Michael Schumacher had ground his way into seventh and Klien was in eighth. Renault were getting nervous, fearing the tyre wear which had affected Fisichella might be starting to slow Alonso, but Trulli’s tyres looked in equally poor shape. With seven laps remaining Barrichello pulled into the garage, citing no grip at all, though the car was healthy enough.

The final few laps were uneventful, the drivers nursing their cars home and Klien fending off a late charge from Raikkonen. Alonso was untroubled, his win, coupled with his third place finish in Australia, putting him into the lead in the world championship. The young Spaniard looked understandably exhausted on the podium, the champagne spraying distinctly low key.

It was also a great result for Toyota with the Japanese team claiming its first podium. "We delivered," said technical director Mike Gascoyne. "Now we need to go on and win some races."

Final order:
1. Alonso (Renault)
2. Trulli (Toyota)
3. Heidfeld (Williams)
4. Montoya (McLaren)
5. R Schumacher (Toyota)
6. Coulthard (Red Bull)
7. M Schumacher (Ferrari)
8. C Klien (Red Bull)


[English Post ]Notes to God From a Dog

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it going to be the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride!
Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please

Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?

And, finally, my last question

Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?


[English Post ]It´s me Working

It´s me Working!!!

Joe - Employee #003992461, 02/08/1995 – Level 1 Procedure Violation (File request form not filled out properly) 03/26/1998 – Level 2 Performance Violation (Client complaint – not returning calls)

And you can buy me just for $14.99. Click here

See you!!


[English Post ]Coming Soon